Permission to Be Human

Human Bean

Long ago, I listened to a message given by a man whom I greatly respect, and he said, 

"Some things are 'old man,' 

some things are 'new man,'

and some things are just HUman!"

If you knew this man and the integrity of his character, you would know that he was in no way trying to excuse sin -- he was pretty clear that some things are "old man" (Eph 4:22, Col 3:9, Rom 6:6). Rather, he was simply acknowledging that we are human beings with personalities that are in some ways neutral with regard to morals.

Our styles, our thought processes, our tastes, and even our quirks -- those things that combine to make us uniquely ourselves -- are HUman.

With that observation, he left room for levels of maturity (without excusing so-called, stunted spiritual growth), and expressed compassion for our frailties. It was refreshing, to say the least.

Permission to be human . . . feels good, doesn't it?

~End Quote

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Update on Funk: 

Time cools, time clarifies; 

no mood can be maintained 

quite unaltered 

through the course of hours.  

~Thomas Mann

Much improved . . . God is indeed good.

Impenetrable

Do you recognize the scene? Lost in the impenetrable reeds with seemingly no hope of finding an outlet  to open water, the unlikely pair haplessly pressing on through the African waters?

My friends, this is how my mind feels today.

Yesterday, with a pile of thoughts and tasks and people and events before me, I could feel the panic begin. A pulsating panic. With my desktop computer (a.k.a. my real brain) down and containing the information I needed to get through this murky stretch, I watched myself (as though an onlooker) respond to the mere thought of proceeding. It went something like this, again and again:

1. The task would present itself.

2. My hands would begin to move toward the phone or computer in an attempt to complete it . . .

3. I would freeze, throw my head into my hands, pray, and sit back waiting for the tension to pass.

4. Again I would try, continuing in this well-established pattern until I was finally able to make the phone call or search for the information needed, etc.

Advancing, I am -- but only by inches -- and there are miles to be covered.

I have always struggled with/against procrastination, but there are times when it truly feels like I am Bogart and Hepburn making their way through that maze of reeds. (Oh, and let's not forget the leeches! I'm sure I could work them into the analogy, too!) It is exhausting!

Accomplishing even the most menial of tasks while in the throes of this mental/emotional battle seems impossible; and while some might call it "sheer determination" that ultimately gets me to the other side, I submit that even the strongest pushes of my raw will are not enough -- no, I cannot "Just do it."

With answers of strength from my Father, I accomplished two significant things today. Now I have three more calls to go and I should be able to breathe just a little. Open water will be a wonderful thing.

Quote of the day:

"This is not going to be a problem."

~ a man named Steve

~End Quote

Intent

Keep your heart with all diligence,

for out of it spring the issues of life.

~Proverbs 4:23

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What is the quality of your intent?

Certain people have a way of saying things that shake us at the core. Even when the words do not seem harsh or offensive, the impact is shattering. What we could be experiencing is the intent behind the words. When we intend to do good, we do. When we intend to do harm, it happens. What each of us must come to realize is that our intent always comes through. We cannot sugarcoat the feelings in our heart of hearts. The emotion is the energy that motivates. We cannot ignore what we really want to create. We should be honest and do it the way we feel it. What we owe to ourselves and everyone around is to examine the reasons of our true intent.

My intent will be evident in the results.

~Thurgood Marshall

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For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.

~Matthew 12: 34, 35

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In general, I am not a fan of Thurgood Marshall. In fact, I disagree with part of the statement I quoted, if I understand it correctly. He seems to imply that there can be no such thing as misunderstanding another person's intent -- what a dangerous assumption/conclusion. Perhaps his use of the word "always" is too all-encompassing for me.

However, his first three sentences are the ones I am truly pondering. What he suggests could account for those times in which it is difficult to pinpoint why a particular interchange of words leaves one feeling troubled without apparent explanation. Without proof, so to speak.

His concluding call to "examine the reasons of our true intent" is certainly a worthy one -- self-examination under the prompting and guidance of the Holy Spirit. No fear there. My Comforter has my heart safely in His care.

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Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
~Psalm 139: 23, 24

~End Quote

To Peel or Not to Peel

Quoting Mr. Harris, again:

The personality of a man is not an apple to be polished, but a banana to be peeled. And the reason we remain so far from one another, the reason we neither communicate nor interact in any real way, is that most of us spend our lives in polishing rather than peeling.

Man's lifelong task is simply one, but it is not simple: to remove the discrepancy between his outer self and his inner self, to get rid of the "persona" that divides his authentic self from the world. This persona is like the peeling on a banana: it is something built up to protect from bruises and injury. It is not the real person, but sometimes (if the fear of injury remains too great) it becomes a lifelong substitute for the person.

The "authentic personality" knows that he is like a banana, and knows that only as he peels himself down to his individuated self can he reach out and make contact with his fellows by what Father Goldbrunner calls "the sheer maturity of his humanity." Only when he himself is detached from his defensive armoring can he then awaken a true response in his dialog with others.

Most of us, however, think in terms of the apple, not the banana. We spend our lives in shining the surface, in making it rosy and gleaming, in perfecting the "image." But the image is not the apple, which may be wormy and rotten to the taste.

Almost everything in modern life is devoted to the polishing process, and little to the peeling process. It is the surface personality that we work on -- the appearance, the clothes, the manners, the geniality. In short, the salesmanship: we are selling the package, not the product.

There is a vast disparity between our outer and inner selves; in many of us, the real person never comes to life at all, never reveals itself, never knows itself. It lives through its functions, it lives as a type, a response to an environment, and dies without ever having found it's true existence. This, and not unhappiness, is the tragedy of life; this, and not "selfishness," is what causes human misery.

So long as we live behind the peeling, we can have no genuine encounter with the world. So long as we go on polishing, we sacrifice the substance for the image -- until, at last, there is no substance left. What is all the good of our "individualism," if it means merely the freedom to be like everybody else, the liberty to remain secure within the peeling?

~ End Quote

Aphorist

Recently, while searching the Internet for quotations, I stumbled upon one in particular that made me think. It also made me check out other quotes by the same individual, which is not always the case.

The writer’s name was Sydney J. Harris. Journalist, drama critic, teacher, lecturer, he wrote and wrote and wrote. Now, decades later, I think I’d like to read and read and read. Surely, I will not agree with all he has to say, but I could write a blog on each of the following aphorisms, I think. So interesting!

I offer you, Mr. Harris:

The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts: to return love for hate, to include the excluded, and to say, "I was wrong".
The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.

The most important thing in an argument, next to being right, is to leave an escape hatch for your opponent, so that he can gracefully swing over to your side without too much apparent loss of face.
There's no point in burying a hatchet if you're going to put up a marker on the site.

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until... we have stopped saying "It got lost," and say "I lost it."

Middle Age is that perplexing time of life when we hear two voices calling us, one saying, "Why not?" and the other, "Why bother?"

An idealist believes the short run doesn’t count. A cynic believes the long run doesn’t matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run.
Ignorance per se is not nearly as dangerous as ignorance of ignorance.

The difference between faith and superstition is that the first uses reason to go as far as it can, and then makes the jump; the second shuns reason entirely — which is why superstition is not the ally, but the enemy, of true religion.

The difference between patriotism and nationalism is that the patriot is proud of his country for what it does, and the nationalist is proud of his country no matter what it does; the first attitude creates a feeling of responsibility, but the second a feeling of blind arrogance that leads to war.

Ninety percent of the world's woe comes from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties, and even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way through life as complete strangers to ourselves.

As we grow older, we should learn that these are two quite different things. Character is something you forge for yourself; temperament is something you are born with and can only slightly modify. Some people have easy temperaments and weak characters; others have difficult temperaments and strong characters. We are all prone to confuse the two in assessing people we associate with. Those with easy temperaments and weak characters are more likable than admirable; those with difficult temperaments and strong characters are more admirable than likable.

The last few are my favorites. ;-)


~ End Quote

Heart Husbandry

In Memory

Yesterday would have been my mother’s seventy-first birthday. I determined, as it approached, neither to exaggerate nor to suppress whatever emotions I might experience that day. To say that I miss her is a gross understatement – she was an incredible woman, and her company was priceless. Without regret, we thoroughly and regularly enjoyed losing track of time together.

The day was not without great distraction, and in the middle of it, I found myself sitting on my bed after a phone call. I looked at my desk, and resting there was a little journal that my mother kept at the request of my brother and his wife. I picked it up, without thought of the significance of the day, actually, and began to read . . .

Recall some of the most important lessons you have learned in life:

“A lie does not change the truth.

When I was in first grade,

one girl did not receive a valentine card.

She was so hurt. When the teacher

asked why no one had given her a card,

I lied and said I did

so Anita (the student) would feel better.

I’ve never liked that day.

Of course, we never found the card.

Honesty is the way;

with others & with self

-- inside and outwardly.”

“Respect for others and their

space is a tremendous gift.”

“Time helps.”

“Keep your negative thoughts

to yourself whenever possible.

It can be devastating to have

someone hurt because of your words

& then it’s terrible

to be confronted with this by others.

Don’t join in others’ negative attitudes –

It’s never good.”

~ End Quote

The Root and Fruit of Trust

Some have a gift for serving and edifying those around them. From their gift flows grace and virtue, with humility. Others, however, have a talent merely for survival - to preserve themselves at all cost. They can't be trusted at any price!
~ Glenn Arnold

Thoughts on trust . . .

To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
~ George MacDonald

The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be - and when they're not, we cry.
~ David Duchovny

The glue that holds all relationships together - including the relationship between the leader and the led - is trust, and trust is based on integrity.
~ Brian Tracy

Distrust all those who love you extremely upon a very slight acquaintance and without any visible reason.
~ Lord Chesterfield

Men trust their ears less than their eyes.
~ Herodotus

I'm not upset that you lied to me; I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche*

People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche*

* No, Mr. Nietzsche, God is not dead. These quotations, however, are two that I’m willing to consider. (see disclaimer)It is written . . .


As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
~ 2 Samuel 22:30-32

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding…
~ Proverbs 3:5,6

He who trusts in his own heart is a fool…
~ Proverbs 28:25

Blessed is that man who makes the LORD his trust…
~Psalm 40:4

But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord GOD that I may declare all Your works.
~ Psalm 73:27-28

It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
~ Psalm 118:8

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.
~ Proverbs 31:10,11

"Trust in me . . . "





~ End Quote

Jest Thinking

"Are you tidding me?" ~ Jack





On this, the eve of the first day of April, I let my thoughts turn toward the topic of fools, foolishness . . . and eventually toward that of jesting.

Joseph Roux said, “A fine quotation is a diamond in the hand of a man of wit and a pebble in the hand of a fool.“ As I write, I hope I am holding a handful of diamonds and not a bunch of pebbles!

Being one who enjoys wit and gentle jesting, and who also wrestles to curb verbosity, I read the following with a good dose of self-examination. (Oh, did I mention that I also tend to be introspective?)

My considerations included . . .

• the perceptions of the listener:

Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace;
When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.
~ Proverbs 17:28

• the motives behind various open mouths:

Wise men speak because they have something to say;
Fools because they have to say something. ~ Plato

• the truth and the malice often cloaked in jest:

Listen closely as those around you speak;
great truths are revealed in jest. ~ Ali Javan

Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death,
Is the man who deceives his neighbor,
And says, “I was only joking!” ~ Proverbs 26:18-19

A man renowned for repartee
will seldom scruple to make free
with friendship's finest feeling,
will thrust a dagger at your breast,
and say he wounded you in jest,
by way of balm for healing. ~ William Cowper

• the dangers of jesting:

He makes a foe who makes a jest. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Never injure a friend, even in jest. ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

• the relationship between thoughts and words in general:

Guard your roving thoughts with a jealous care,
for speech is but the dialer of thoughts,
and every fool can plainly read in your words
what is the hour of your thoughts. ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
~ Matthew 12:34

• the revelation of character in jesting:

Nor is it always in the most distinguished achievements
that men's virtues or vices may be best discovered;
but very often an action of small note, a short saying, or a jest,
shall distinguish a person's real character
more than the greatest sieges. ~ Plutarch

Don’t hear me saying that I am abandoning all repartee and all bantering – or that I want any of my friends and acquaintances to do the same. I am not. Yet, my own words have a history that is not unscarred by the misuse of both, and those memories often haunt me. These little diamonds I quote to myself as my reminder to guard the thin line between words that build up and words that tear down. I need it.

~ End Quote

Elusive Momentum

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~ William James





*sigh*

~ End Quote

Where the Chameleon Flies

"This lives on air, and there it is the prey of all the birds; so in order to be safer it flies above the clouds and finds an air so rarefied that it cannot support the bird that follows it. At that height nothing can go unless it has a gift from Heaven, and that is where the chameleon flies.”
~ Leonardo da Vinci, Studies on the Life and Habits of Animals


The Chameleon
by James Merrick (1720-1769)

Oft has it been my lot to mark
A proud, conceited, talking spark,
With eyes that hardly served at most
To guard their master 'gainst a post;
Yet round the world the blade has been.
To see whatever could be seen.
Returning from his finish'd tour,
Grown ten times perter than before,
Whatever word you chance to drop,
The travell'd fool your mouth will stop.
" Sir, if my judgment you'll allow,
I've seen, and sure I ought to know."
So begs you'd pay a due submission,
And acquiesce in his decision.

Two travellers of such a cast,
As o'er Arabia's wilds they pass'd,
And on their way, in friendly chat,
Now talk'd of this, and then of that,
Discoursed awhile, 'mongst other matter,
Of the Chameleon's form and nature.

" A stranger animal," cries one,
" Sure never lived beneath the sun:
A lizard's body lean and long,
A fish's head, a serpent's tongue,
Its foot with triple claw disjoin'd,
And what a length of tail behind!
How slow its pace! And then its hue!
Who ever saw so fine a blue ? "

"Hold, there! " the other quick replies;
" 'Tis green; I saw it with these eyes,
As late with open mouth it lay,
And warm'd it in the sunny ray.
Stretch'd at its ease the beast I view'd,
And saw it eat the air for food."

" I've seen it, sir, as well as you,
And must again affirm it blue.
At leisure I the beast survey'd
Extended in the cooling shade."

" 'Tis green, 'tis green, sir, I assure ye."

" Green! " cries the other in a fury;
"Why, sir, d'ye think I've lost my eyes?"

" 'Twere no great loss," the friend replies;
" For if they always serve you thus,
You'll find them but of little use."

So high at last the contest rose,
From words they almost came to blows,
When luckily came by a third;
To him the question they referr'd,
And begg'd he'd tell them, if he knew,
Whether the thing was green or blue.

" Sirs," cries the umpire, "cease your pother;
The creature's neither one nor t'other.
I caught the animal last night,
And view'd it o'er by candle-light.
I mark'd it well; 'twas black as jet.
You stare ! But, sirs, I've got it yet,
And can produce it."

" Pray, sir, do;
I'll lay my life the thing is blue."

" And I'll be sworn, that when you've seen
The reptile, you'll pronounce him green."

" Well, then, at once to ease the doubt,"
Replies the man, " I'll turn him out;
And when before your eyes I've set him,
If you don't find him black, I'll eat him."
He said; and full before their sight
Produced the beast, and lo! 'twas white.
Both stared; the man look'd wondrous wise.

" My children," the Chameleon cries
(Then first the creature found a tongue),
" You all are right, and all are wrong.
When next you talk of what you view,
Think others see as well as you;
Nor wonder if you find that none
Prefers your eyesight to his own."


I leave all of this for my readers to ponder without comment from the Mole. ;-)

~ End Quote