Exposure: Week Thirty-four

 
A pair of  pictures    showing    "then" and "now."

Then: (foreground) Bill, my pastor, 1985-1992 

Now: (background) Fred, my pastor, 1993-present 

Thank you both for your unceasing faithfullness!

175th Anniversary Congregational Celebration!

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. For I rejoiced greatly when brethren came and testified of the truth that is in you, just as you walk in the truth. 

I have no greater joy  than to hear that my children walk in truth.

3 John 1:2-4

~End Quote

Pressing On

When the valley is deep

When the mountain is steep

When the body is weary

When we stumble and fall

When the choices are hard

When we're battered and scarred

When we've spent our resources

When we've given our all

In Jesus' name, we press on

In Jesus' name, we press on

Dear Lord, with the prize

Clear before our eyes

We find the strength to press on.

~Selah

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ♬

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected;

but I press on,

that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended;

but one thing I do,
forgetting those things which are behind and

reaching forward to those things which are ahead,

I press toward the goal for the prize
of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind;

and if in anything you think otherwise,

God will reveal even this to you.

Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained,

let us walk by the same rule,

let us be of the same mind.

~Philippians 3:12-15

♬ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

 

Believers make Christ all in all, and set their hearts upon another world.

If they differ from one another,

and are not of the same judgment in lesser matters,

yet they must not judge one another;

while they all meet now in Christ,

and hope to meet shortly in heaven.

Let them join in all the great things in which they are agreed,

and wait for further light as to lesser things wherein they differ.

~Matthew Henry on Philippians 3:12-15

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ♬

~ End Quote 

Exposure: Week Two

Weekly Exposure

Challenge #2:

A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest.

Our early history was a repetition of this theme: Stacy's mother would call my mother to say that she was enrolling Stacy in a particular activity -- and would she be so kind as to enroll me, too. My mother, of course, would comply.

Stacy and I would spend about a year, usually less, participating in the activity together -- then she'd quit and I was left to complete the course alone. Lest you think I am exaggerating, I will give noteworthy examples:

• Violin Lessons -- As the newspaper clipping suggests, we were part of a small strings ensemble. I played for two years before trading the violin for the piano. Stacy would have to tell you how long she enjoyed this musical endeavor. Might I suggest it was not two years.

• Tap and Ballet -- Another two-year commitment for me and another less-than-two-year commitment for my pal. Yes, I own a picture of the two of us in the recital program. No, I am not including it on the blog.

• Summer Camp -- This is the best. The first week of camp, I cried and cried. My poor little friend tried her best to console me in my homesickness. I can still remember her sitting close beside me on the bottom bunk, telling me things were going to be okay. You know, she was right. At the close of the first week, I was a happy camper (no groaning). Stacy, on the other hand, came down with the worse case of homesickness ever. If I remember correctly, she packed her bags and returned home.

• Albright's Prep School -- Okay, we did complete these years together . . . an exception to the theme. Stacy and I were summer babies, so we always celebrated our birthdays together at the end of the school year. According to school tradition, the party included aluminum-covered cardboard crowns and matching decorated boxes for gifts. We sat on stools in front of the room like princesses. So "me," right? ;-P

The school years that followed separated us somewhat, but our families remained close.

When I lost my mother, it became clear that our childhood ties were much stronger than I had ever imagined. On the eve of the funeral, Stacy dropped by my parents' home to sit with me and to offer her help, "Is there anything I can do for you?" She was earnest and sincere, but I could not think of a thing.

As soon as I said so, I remembered that I had not found shoes for my girls. Go to the mall the night before the funeral? I was still planning the funeral!

Seeing my panic, she said, "Let me take them to get shoes." Just like that. What could I say? I protested, of course, but she insisted more strongly. (Note: Stacy loves shoes. Period. She was eating this up.)

When they returned with glowing reports of adventure and success, I thanked my dear friend profusely and let her head home for the night. As soon as the door closed behind her, my girls spun around and said, "Mama, Mrs. Stacy is soooo cool!"

Since that reunion we have seen each other a couple of times, once at a retirement party hosted by our parents and again at my son's football game -- if you can believe that. We have tentative plans for a girls' weekend at her place, a few hours away; and the five of us are to do some real shopping. My consolation is that she is also highly interested in letterboxing. At her request, I am going to carve a pair of heels for her first signature stamp. *smile*

1966 to the present . . . I love you, Stacy!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends,
the old and new.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man should keep his friendships in constant repair.
~Samuel Johnson

Ah, how good it feels! The hand of an old friend.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Say what you want about aging, it's still the only way to have old friends.
~Robert Brault

An old friend is like a saddled horse.
~Afghan Proverb

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
~John Leonard

Old friends are always new.
~Italian Proverb

Yes’m, old friends is always best,

‘less you can catch a new one that’s fit to make an old one out of.
~Sarah Orne Jewett

Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend . . .
~Proverbs 27:10

~ End Quote

Love

And now abide

faith, hope, love,
these three;

but the greatest of these

is love.

~I Corinthians 13:13

~End Quote

Timeless Devotion

Like a heart in winter beats alone

Solitary is this place I call my own

Memories of sun

That fan

An undiminished flame

Morning song

And still you're gone

Somehow I'll find a way

To fill my glass up to the rim

Unearthing gold each day

True is my devotion

Always there beneath my skin

No forgetting what is left behind

Light and shadow from a once elusive sky

Wanting to possess me

Like an unforgiving rain

Morning Song

And still you're gone

Somehow I'll find a way

To fill my glass up to the rim

unearthing gold each day

True was our devotion

Once a bright undying dream

Memories of sun

That fan an undiminished flame

Morning Song

And still you're gone

Somehow I'll find a way

To fill my glass up to the rim

Unearthing gold each day

True is my devotion

Always there beneath my skin

❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧

I love this song.
While the song does not exactly mirror my own experience,
I think the music and the lyrics are simply beautiful;
they are raw honesty set in poignant poetry.

Each time I listen to it, I find myself longing for it to say a little more, to express a greater measure of hope. To require it of the artist for my sake, however, would be putting words into the mouth of another, feelings into a heart that does not truly hold them. Yes, selfish of me.
It's not my song. It's not my place. It's not my life.
Yet, I love this song.

❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.
~Proverbs 13:12

[Back-story & Interviews]

~End Quote

More About Wings . . . and Moms who give them

I just wonder how many times I have been searching for one thing (a song, an image, an article) -- only to stumble upon something else that took me by surprise and made me smile in awe, again, at the One who directs my steps.

I was looking for a really good arrangement of "Buongiorno Principessa" from the movie, Life is Beautiful. Until that day, almost two weeks ago, I had never heard of Mark Masri before. Beautiful voice! His recording marked the end of my search for that song.

Not only did I decide to purchase his arrangement of the song, I also listened to others and searched for videos of him, as well. In fact, one of the videos that I found also featured Jim Brickman. What a pair! The song is called, "A Mother's Love."

I quickly archived the video to post on my mother's birthday next month. I was just going to let it play with little comment from me. (I wrote my mother a song once, on Mother's Day, when I was fresh out of college. She loved it, but she only heard it once because I lost the lyrics and couldn't remember it later when she asked to hear it again. Years later she told others that I refused to play it for her -- ouch! Funny how the stories evolve . . .)

Anyway, I had originally planned to wait until the 6th of November to post this, but I've decided to let it spin a little early.

Thank you for watching over me
All of the sleepless nights you lay awake
Thank you for knowing when to hold me close
When to let me go
Thank you for every stepping stone
And for the path that always leads me home
I thank you for the time you took
To see the heart inside of me

You gave me the roots to start this life
And then you gave me wings to fly
And I learned to dream
Because you believed in me
There's no power like it on this earth
No treasure equal to its worth.
The gift of a mother's love.

Thank you for every sunlit day
That filled the corners of my memory
Thank you for every selfless unsung deed
I know you did for me
Thank you for giving me the choice
To search my soul till I could find my voice
And I thank you for teaching me
To be strong enough to bend

You gave me the roots to start this life
And then you gave me wings to fly
And I learned to dream
Because you believed in me
There's no power like it on this earth
No treasure equal to its worth.
The gift of a mother's love.

I thank God for a mother's love.

~ End Quote

From the First

From my first moment you gave me wings


Let me fly and believed in my dreams


From that first moment you cherished me so


The journey through life would be hard without you


You gave me all I have and all I know

From my first moment you would be there


In your arms lay the strength I now bear


From that first moment each day I have you


The seasons they change but your heart stays the same


You gave me all I have and all I know

From my first moment as time goes by


We drift endlessly through open skies


The journey through life would be hard without you


You gave me all I have and all I know

[Music by Erik Satie ~ Words by Sam Babenia ~ Arranged by Jesse Cook]

~ End Quote

Recipes

Memory is a peculiar thing, sometimes gentle and consoling, other times so painful. What a trigger of emotions it is! I suppose that's a given, and not terribly profound, but I'm really not trying to be profound.

This week, my friend lost her mom, and in listening to her speak from the depths of her loss, I heard myself. I don't just remember myself saying the very things she was saying -- I still say them now, three years after my own mother passed away.

For example, one thing that I feel so often is the desire -- the deep and intense longing -- to ask her questions. [Oh, Liz, I know you understand this.] Thankfully, my mother shared her thoughts with me freely and abundantly -- told me stories about herself and how she faced the many stages of her life with their varied joys and challenges, told me what it was like to mother me (poor soul), told me what her thoughts were about being a wife, a daughter, a niece, a mom . . . oh, my . . . she had answers for everything. I didn't always agree with her, but she had answers. More often than not, she had the answers. I am so grateful.

The most painful reality in all of this is that some of those answers were known only to her. And now they are gone with her. Just like that.

The day after I heard Liz's news, my dad called:"Hey! Do you remember how Mama used to bake chicken? I have the recipe, but it's incomplete." He continued telling me every detail of that recipe, and everything he could remember about that silly chicken dish, while my eyes filled with tears. I could have handled it on some other day, but not on that one. I was so glad he kept talking!

This morning I spoke with another friend who is also deeply saddened by Liz's loss. Ann began to speak of her own mother, whom she lost 20 years ago. She described the ache that just surfaced when she could not find (I should not have been surprised) -- one of her mother's recipes. ;-(

I have shared in the past about a special journal that my mother kept. Unlike her private journals, this one was written to be shared. Tonight I was poking through it and paused on a question that asked, "What was your favorite meal when you were a child? What made it your favorite?" Right there in the middle of the page was a recipe for chili. Of course.

I wonder how many daughters have felt the same over something as simple as a recipe? I wonder how many still reach for the phone when they just need to know? In so many ways, I find myself saying,

"I have the recipe, but it's incomplete."

~ End Quote

Heart Melt

To "melt" at another's woe, at your woe -- how very real that is, my dear friend. My heart has been taught by more than time, though, I think. . .

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

~ II Corinthians

I love you.






~End Quote

Tame

It was then that the fox appeared.

"Good morning," said the fox.

"Good morning," the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.

"I am right here," the voice said, "under the apple tree."

"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."

"I am a fox," said the fox.


"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince. "I am so unhappy."

"I cannot play with you," the fox said. "I am not tamed."

"Ah! Please excuse me," said the little prince. But, after some thought, he added: "What does that mean-- 'tame'?"


"You do not live here," said the fox. "What is it that you are looking for?"

"I am looking for men," said the little prince. "What does that mean-- 'tame'?"

"Men," said the fox. "They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?"

"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean-- 'tame'?"

"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. It means to establish ties."

"'To establish ties'?"

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you.

And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world..."

"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower... I think that she has tamed me..."

"It is possible," said the fox. "On the Earth one sees all sorts of things."

"Oh, but this is not on the Earth!" said the little prince.

The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious.

"On another planet?"

"Yes."

"Are there hunters on this planet?"

"No."

"Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?"

"No."

"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox.

But he came back to his idea.

"My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow.

And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the colour of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat..."

The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.

"Please-- tame me!" he said.

"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."

"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops.


But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me..."

"What must I do, to tame you?" asked the little prince.

"You must be very patient," replied the fox. "First you will sit down at a little distance from me-- like that-- in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing.


Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day..."

The next day the little prince came back.

"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox.


"If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you...

One must observe the proper rites..."

"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.

"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox. "They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all."


So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you..."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.


"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:

"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."


The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.

"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."

And the roses were very much embarrassed.

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you-- the rose that belongs to me.

But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.


And he went back to meet the fox.

"Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted (spent) for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.


~ End Quote (The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry, Chapter 21)

Discernment!

Me: Miss Liz loves you very much.
Jack: Very, very, very much. Does she love me more than anything else?
Me: Well, I don't know about that.
Jack: I think she loves God more than anything else.

~ End Quote

Special Delivery

Friendship is the breathing rose,
with sweets in every fold.
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

The truck arrived without my even knowing it . . .

I looked up to see a grinning child and a box which she slid into my lap . . .

Then it was my turn to smile . . . over and over again.

Liz and Lisa, they are lovely.
Thank you for making this day so special.

I love you!

~ End Quote

Autograph Book

~ End Quote

Farewell . . . Redux!

“Are we going to see you again?”

“When are we going to see you again?”
“Is that a long time?”
~Jack

The LORD bless you, my dear friends, as you travel.
We love you so much and are truly thankful that you came to see us.


~ End Quote

A Witnessed Life

It is not uncommon for me to hear a statement pertaining to marriage and to think, “That is perfectly true about friendship, as well, if not more so.”

Without flooding anyone with examples (I have enough of them to drown an elephant), let me offer just one that I heard in a movie recently:

Why is it, do you think, that people get married? . . . Because we need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet. I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything – the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things. All of it. All the time, every day. You’re saying, “Your life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness.” You can quote me on that, if you like.

So, give it a try. Where you read “marriage,” insert “friendship.” Where you see “get married,” say, “are friends.” Say it aloud. I suppose we don’t always promise to care in a friendship. Yet, with or without the promise, caring is the evidence that the friendship is worthy of its name, the proof that it actually exists.

Here is my rewrite:

Why is it, do you think, that people are friends? . . . Because we need a witness to our lives. There are a billion people on the planet. I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a friendship, you care about everything – the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things. All of it. All the time, every day. You’re saying, “Your life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness.” You can quote me on that, if you like.

I know that the quotation would easily fall apart if we picked it to death, but there is one line that I refuse to alter – I just love it too much. Tell me, what would it be like to have someone look you in the eye and say,

Your life will not go unnoticed,
because I will notice it.
Your life will not go unwitnessed,
because I will be your witness.

Yes, you can quote me on that, if you like.

~End Quote

First and Foremost of Many Thoughts

A "thank you" is not just courtesy or good manners.
It acknowledges and hence cherishes kindness.
~ Anonymous

~ End Quote (not really the end)

The Root and Fruit of Trust

Some have a gift for serving and edifying those around them. From their gift flows grace and virtue, with humility. Others, however, have a talent merely for survival - to preserve themselves at all cost. They can't be trusted at any price!
~ Glenn Arnold

Thoughts on trust . . .

To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
~ George MacDonald

The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be - and when they're not, we cry.
~ David Duchovny

The glue that holds all relationships together - including the relationship between the leader and the led - is trust, and trust is based on integrity.
~ Brian Tracy

Distrust all those who love you extremely upon a very slight acquaintance and without any visible reason.
~ Lord Chesterfield

Men trust their ears less than their eyes.
~ Herodotus

I'm not upset that you lied to me; I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche*

People who have given us their complete confidence believe that they have a right to ours. The inference is false, a gift confers no rights.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche*

* No, Mr. Nietzsche, God is not dead. These quotations, however, are two that I’m willing to consider. (see disclaimer)It is written . . .


As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
~ 2 Samuel 22:30-32

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding…
~ Proverbs 3:5,6

He who trusts in his own heart is a fool…
~ Proverbs 28:25

Blessed is that man who makes the LORD his trust…
~Psalm 40:4

But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord GOD that I may declare all Your works.
~ Psalm 73:27-28

It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
~ Psalm 118:8

Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.
~ Proverbs 31:10,11

"Trust in me . . . "





~ End Quote

Bilver Sells

You don’t need huge followings to influence a niche; you just need the right readers. Suppose you had a political blog, for example, and you had only three readers. They just happened to be the heads of government in the United States, China and Russia, and each read your blog every day, trusted your writings and adjusted their own courses accordingly. How many more readers would you need to be an influence? ~ Shel Israel

A little something for those whom I follow:
"On the sidewalks, little mole stalks . . ."
No, that won't do. Let me try again.

Little sidebars, busy sidebars.
May I scroll for a while?
If I skim
I'll be feeling
I’ve missed much
See you laughing
Cameras snapping
Catching smile after smile
and on every hit counter you'll hear

Thank you, well, can you tell
I’ve spent some time at your blog, dear?
Here’s the thing, hear me sing
I like what you have to say.

Strings of comments
Offer two cents
In a list they are seen
As your followers note
What they treasure

I’ve a big hunch
After my lunch
I can click to the scene
And above all this bustle
You'll hear

Thank you, well, can you tell
I’ve spent some time at your blog, dear?
Here’s the thing, hear me sing
I like what you have to say.

Thank you, well, can you tell
I’ve spent some time at your blog, dear?
Here’s the thing, hear me sing
I like what you have to say.

~ End Quote

Jest Thinking

"Are you tidding me?" ~ Jack





On this, the eve of the first day of April, I let my thoughts turn toward the topic of fools, foolishness . . . and eventually toward that of jesting.

Joseph Roux said, “A fine quotation is a diamond in the hand of a man of wit and a pebble in the hand of a fool.“ As I write, I hope I am holding a handful of diamonds and not a bunch of pebbles!

Being one who enjoys wit and gentle jesting, and who also wrestles to curb verbosity, I read the following with a good dose of self-examination. (Oh, did I mention that I also tend to be introspective?)

My considerations included . . .

• the perceptions of the listener:

Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace;
When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.
~ Proverbs 17:28

• the motives behind various open mouths:

Wise men speak because they have something to say;
Fools because they have to say something. ~ Plato

• the truth and the malice often cloaked in jest:

Listen closely as those around you speak;
great truths are revealed in jest. ~ Ali Javan

Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death,
Is the man who deceives his neighbor,
And says, “I was only joking!” ~ Proverbs 26:18-19

A man renowned for repartee
will seldom scruple to make free
with friendship's finest feeling,
will thrust a dagger at your breast,
and say he wounded you in jest,
by way of balm for healing. ~ William Cowper

• the dangers of jesting:

He makes a foe who makes a jest. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Never injure a friend, even in jest. ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero

• the relationship between thoughts and words in general:

Guard your roving thoughts with a jealous care,
for speech is but the dialer of thoughts,
and every fool can plainly read in your words
what is the hour of your thoughts. ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson

For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
~ Matthew 12:34

• the revelation of character in jesting:

Nor is it always in the most distinguished achievements
that men's virtues or vices may be best discovered;
but very often an action of small note, a short saying, or a jest,
shall distinguish a person's real character
more than the greatest sieges. ~ Plutarch

Don’t hear me saying that I am abandoning all repartee and all bantering – or that I want any of my friends and acquaintances to do the same. I am not. Yet, my own words have a history that is not unscarred by the misuse of both, and those memories often haunt me. These little diamonds I quote to myself as my reminder to guard the thin line between words that build up and words that tear down. I need it.

~ End Quote

Foiled

"I'll be your foil, Laertes:
in mine ignorance
Your skill shall,
like a star i' the darkest night,
Stick fiery off indeed"
~ Hamlet, Act 5 Scene 2


I'll just dive right in without much introduction. Here is my favorite entry from my favorite literary reference:

A foil is literally a sheet of bright metal that is placed under a piece of jewelry to increase its brilliance. In literature, by extension, the term is applied to any person or sometimes thing that through strong contrast underscores or enhances the distinctive characteristics of another.
~ A Handbook to Literature by C. Hugh Holman

Wikipedia adds:

A foil usually has some important characteristics in common with the other character, such as, frequently, superficial traits or personal history. The author may use the foil to throw the character of the protagonist into sharper relief.

The foil is not the same as the antagonist, who directly opposes the protagonist of a story as a rival or opponent. In fact, the foil is often the sidekick of the protagonist. Some examples come to mind:

• In Lucy Maude Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables, consider the “bosom friends,” Anne Shirley and Diana Barry. What a contrast, right? Placed next to her dear friend, Anne’s imagination, intelligence, and independence are shown even more brightly.

• Felix Ungar! Perhaps he would have made a fine neat freak and hypochondriac without interaction with Oscar Madison, but make them roommates and see how the close quarters sharpen the differences . . . yes, a truly odd couple.

Those are just two, off the top of my head. Examples abound, though, and why is this? As with other literary devices (irony, metaphor, conflict, comedy, tragedy, etc.), what makes a foil so effective is the mirroring of reality. What is true in fiction is often true in life. Shakespeare said,

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts. . .

Sometimes we are the protagonist, and sometimes we are the foil on this big stage.

~ End Quote

---

Little Note to Liz
You wrote, "I'm surrounded by schedule-oriented people, to be sure. How did that happen? Everyone I love and care for are A-OK with structure and predictability; in fact, they thrive on it. They can happily eat, think, do the same things every day and be perfectly happy - how can that be?? I'm dying just thinking about it." I am wondering . . . perhaps if you did not have so many foils surrounding you, being who you are in your "one percent" might not be so tough. I love you. ~Kev